One Hell of a Fruit Bowl

It doesn’t feel good to fail. It actually feels remarkably bad. We ran Channan through a series of evaluations and it became apparent to everyone that in order to play catch up with Hebrew he needs a small classroom. Hearing-aided ears combined with a late hearing loss diagnosis and an English-speaking house has done him no favors. And while we’re sad to take him away from the one good thing at school, his friends, we’ve sort of made our peace with it.

Except there is no small classroom that will have him. In some combination of bad luck, bad planning, bad urban layout, the classroom for him would be in Efrat. Except that it is full. And while everyone is pretty nice and means mostly well, we take care of our own. And that means no room for my kid. Each day I wake up and steel myself for the next round of phone calls, the next series of letters, the next batch of begging, crying, yelling. Whatever it takes, I think. I can be all mama bear if it’s for my kid.

But it comes at a cost. My heart breaks every day a little more. My faith in people doing the right things for the right reasons is pretty much shot. I get that the situation is complicated and I have jumped through hoop after hoop and tied myself into a pretzel and written impassioned letters (in Hebrew!). And people love my kid. So to know what is good and right and have it out of reach is just shattering.

But today he graduates from 3rd grade. And there will be a song and dance and he will be the line leader. And I will take too many pictures. We need to bring the fruit platter. So I take all of the energy and all of my feelings of inadequacies as his mother and transfer it to the making of the fruit platter. I can control nothing, it seems, but boy can I control the outcome of fruit. So I head to pinterest and pick out some basket that some ubermom who probably home schools her kids and cuts coupons religiously and irons makes for afternoon snack and I tackle it with gusto. Channan and I learn how to carve out the inside of a watermelon and layer it up with new and different fruits. He is a perfect kid and it is a perfect fruit bowl. And for today that will have to be enough.

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