Refresh

I will speak now of the unspeakable.

I will try to explain what it is like to live in this moment, in this country, when all air has been sucked out.

Where we sit by our computers hitting refresh, refresh, refresh, hoping and praying for some news that isn’t coming.

The media isn’t reporting and we’ve been instructed to stay off of Facebook or whatsapp or email as though that could define and determine an ending no one wants. And perhaps it can. Perhaps in this state of desperation we will do whatever is asked of us just so we can breathe again.

It seems overly dramatic to be this vague, but we are following orders so I will say: we are, as a country, at a loss, missing a few and praying for their return.

So I will give no details but to say this: an hour ago we were crying of joy and now we are crying of false alarm.

And I hit refresh now and again and again.

There are white hairs that you get from living in this country. There are wrinkles that etch themselves in our skin in this country. But there is prayer in this country, in this moment, like no where else in the world.

And I’m heading back to hit refresh, to search for news.

If you’re a prayer person, this is a prayer moment.

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