Under the Radar

 

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Exactly one year ago, I sat on the couch in Cleveland writing a Tisha B’Av post. It’s a year later and here we are again. There are still boxes all over my house, but this time I’m packing up instead of unpacking. There are probably many things that I have learned over the course of this year, but the one that resonates most, at hour 23 of our fast, is this: moving twice in one year sucks. I feel like I should be a pro by now or, at the very least, be able to pack up my life with some modicum of grace under pressure. But, if that’s the case, I’m failing.

Yael and Yoni head off to camp next week. I spent today ironing labels into their clothes (a vast improvement from last year when I took a sharpee marker to everything they owned). Yael and I went into her room and took the pictures down from her wall. We went through the experiences of her year and packed them away. There is something that is just so devastating about seeing an empty(ish) room at the end of a great year.

I haven’t written here in awhile. I’ve been enjoying just existing under the radar. Lots of errands, lots of family and friend time. Lots of packing things up. It’s been a nice way to end the year. I spend insane amounts of time reading. Horrible summer reruns on TV (and tragically misguided attempts at summer TV: shame on you reality TV you have truly outdone yourself) have really helped with reading time.

I spoke yesterday about Eicha. I spoke about how the poetry of Eicha invites you to just have an emotional experience, to connect on a personal and individual level to the words written. And that’s how I feel right now (also I’ve been deprived of food and drink for many hours so I may be wrong). I feel like we’re just embracing the emotional experience of leaving, of returning… and of packing. It’s a lot of emotion and it’s all over the board, but we’re owning it.

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2 Comments

  1. miriam and zeevie

    Sad but true.

  2. leora

    you don’t have to leave….

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