The Secret Post. I come clean on America.
It’s a well known fact in the world of social media that timing matters. The time that you post your tweets or fb updates directly correlates with how many people read them. Post too early in the morning and you get swallowed up by tons of postings. Post too late in the day and risk being missed entirely. People charge lots of money for this advice so pay heed.
In any event, I realize that at this exact moment I have the unique opportunity to blog exclusively to my Israelite friends (damn you RSS feed Diaspora Jews: Ari, David and Avi, you’ll be the ones to bust me). I’m going to come clean on this year. The only people who will really see this posting are people who aren’t keeping an extra 24 hours of the festival of unleavened bread so here goes:
Target. Eh. It was fun for the first few weeks. Now, weeks and weeks will go by where I don’t go in at all. I’ve sort of demystified the store. It’s convenient, but it’s just a store.
Public Library. Not going to lie. It’s one of my favorite places in Cleveland. Nothing like it in Israel. I will cry when I go there for my last time. (super geeky. not embarrassed at all.)
Big Supermarkets. I miss the makolet. The idea that I need to go into a HUGE store to get milk makes me nuts. Just let me buy milk (crazy but true: sometimes I’ll just buy milk at the gas station because it’s small and easy).
Parking Spots. I love them. I LOVE parking in America. The spots are SO big. No reason to stress about parking ever again. Dear Israel, c’mon!
TV. As we all know, I love my TV and download great shows in Israel so I figured a year in America would be a year of great TV. Totally false. The idea of watching TV with commercials (even fast forwarding commercials) is abhorrent to me. It makes me crazy! My anticipated reunion with Matt Lauer and the Today Show was also mired in controversy. First of all, America hates Matt (shame on you America). And morning TV is just one long stretch of commercials held together by silly interviews and YouTube clips. Damn.
Ziploc Bags. Continue to live up to the hype. Super Amazing. Also amazing:
Clorox Wipes. I may have mocked these bad boys at the start of the year, but how the tides have turned. Love affair.
What else did we pine for when living in Israel?
Sundays. I don’t love them love them. Mostly it’s just play dates and parties and chauffeuring kids all day long while cleaning the house. But I do love
Saturday nights. No need to rush your kids to sleep. It’s way more chill knowing that you have the safety net of Sunday. Also, Saturday night allowed us to create the tradition of marathon Wipeout sessions. This TV show is only hilarious if you are a prepubescent boy and if you are a parent watching your prepubescent boys die laughing.
Great shopping. Yup.
Great food. Nope.
Great people. Yup.
Ready to come home. Yup.
I’m sure I left many things off of my exhaustive list. It’s not all that scientific and I’m still bitter that I’m going to be eating macaroons for the next 24 hours 🙂 Happy UnPesach, friends. See you in a few months.
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