The week of ugh.
I can write this because right now I’m in San Diego watching the Disney channel with all four of my boys tucked into this great comfy bed at 5:30 in the morning. Thrown off by the 3 hour time difference, we’re all awake enjoying Phineas and Ferb. But to get to this week, I had to survive last week.
Last week was exam period at school so I had a few extra hours off. I had a long list of things I’ve been putting off for six months (that’s right, kids, we’ve hit the midway point). I figured why not squish in all the stuff I hate in one week and just be done. My logic was flawless: I decided I would spend the week being crabby and annoyed but I would pack that week with every item leftover on my lists since August. And crabby I was. I pulled my back out six weeks ago — no problem, I’m heading to the physical therapist (Talia, such a wonderful PT! so cool!). Dov and Yael have been diagnosed with mild allergies (him: peanuts and walnuts her: cucumbers, tomatoes, corn and carrots — she’s probably not even allowed to be Israeli anymore) — I head to the doctor with a list of responsible parent questions (before we get too carried away about being responsible, Yael’s been saying those veggie make her lips and tongue bumpy since she’s been 2 and I’ve laughed it off for a decade so not winning any great mom awards here). Before I left Israel in my attempt to hit up every doctor, I went to the dentist who told me I had cavities. I ignored that until I chipped a filling and off I was to the dentist here in my week of ugh (Dina Fixler: such a nice person. such a nice dentist!).
Now, for this next piece of Dante hell, I’d like to blame my parents. Given the name Chana Devorah Jennifer Deborah Levine has been no piece of cake. But you know who hates it more than me? The American government. The DMV. The passport office. And social security. Because each of those government offices has a different variation of that name. So, six months in, although I took my driving test, learned all of Ohio driving laws (how old can you be to ride in the back of a pick up truck? if you run over a deer can you keep it?) and passed it all, the DMV has rescinded their offer of giving me a license because none of my aliases match up. So I went to probate court to change my name. You know the difference between Israeli bureaucracy and American bureaucracy? The buildings are nicer in Cleveland. The ceilings are really high. But, beyond that, no amount of chocolate in the world can offset the pain that is probate court (and the need to return to probate court in six weeks to meet with a judge to “plead my case”). Ugh.
But now we’re in San Diego. There’s the ocean. The zoo. Disney. Legoland. And I, Chana Devorah Jennifer Deborah Levine Katz, have earned a vacation (if the word vacation can actually apply to being anywhere with your five kids for an extended period of time). Also, did I mention that I did all my Zappos, Amazon and on-line returns last week? And Channan had his bi-annual hearing test (nailed it)? And Dov had his follow-up appointment for accidentally not using his right eye to see things ever (using it now)? It’s been a long week. I earned sunshine.
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