Costco beats me down to the ground.

When David and I first got married we lived in student housing (“kollel” was never a word I was particularly comfortable with) in Alon Shevut. We stuffed that tiny apartment with all our American stuff — a big couch, a huge papison (if you were born after 1982, you may need a visual) a full size dining room table and hundreds of shelves that David all too happily drilled into the wall (it is David after all). We never realized how absolutely ludicrous it was to stuff our apartment until we were invited to our Israeli neighbors. Their apartment, exactly the same size as ours, was an exercise in minimalism. There was a tiny table, a miniature couch… and that’s it. We left feeling like silly overindulgent Americans (that only lasted until we sat down on our super comfy couch though).

Imagine my shock and feelings of inadequacy when I completely failed at my Costco run yesterday. Now to the untrained eye, I probably did ok. I had my ziploc bags (a true sign of having arrived) and some great cleaning supplies, but by the time we got to the food section I was completely overwhelmed. Who the heck needs 92 granola bars? If I bring 42 fruit roll ups into my house, doesn’t that mean my kids are going to eat 42 fruit roll ups? Why are the cereal boxes bigger than our backyard kiddie pool? Which king is eating a bag full of king-sized chocolate bars? I half-halfheartedly threw a couple of boxes of “stuff” into the cart and then ducked and ran. If there is a tutorial out there for Costco-goers, sign me up because I get heart palpitations thinking about going back (though why would I need to — I have 92 granola bars).

We are slowly making progress settling in to Cleveland. With Yael and Yoni off at Stone, I have become the parent that checks the website for their pictures hourly (not proud of it, just keeping it real). David took Eitan and Channan to sports night at their day camp last night. Eitan saw the fire alarm on the wall and read (correctly) “pull.” So he did. Nothing like waiting on a call from the fire commissioner. Dov has been spending his days running around with me and David. It turns out that boy may be ever more hilarious than we originally thought (our current potty-training technique offers Power Rangers for poop — sort of like cash for guns). Today Dov starts backyard camp so we can finally have a few hours of quiet.

Yesterday we took the boys for Slurpees at 7-Eleven. As Eitan sucked down his coke Slurpee, he magnanimously told me, “Maybe today isn’t the worst day ever.” Ah…

Advertisements

17 Comments

  1. Like I said, Slurpee’s- The ultimate problem solver.
    By The Way- “pull”- Hilarious,

    • “pull” had me cracking up for an hour last night. As American as our kids look, they are missing like 30% of American nuance, culture and understanding. Pull should mean pull.

  2. Dorona

    Costco grows on you. Promise. You should learn how to spell it correctly, though. 😉 The 1st time I reacted the same as you- Stephen thought I was insane. Though I never did buy those huge cereal boxes. I’m extremely jealous about the Slurpees.

    • Hilarious that I don’t even know how to spell it!!! Thanks for the words of encouragement. I may call you before my next trip out there!

  3. Devorah Starr

    funny!!!!!!! Oh, Eitan. Totally not his fault. Costco get easier. I miss you gUYS! We are in the same country, so we should be seeing each other. Why is America so big?

  4. Daphne

    Disagree… Costco never gets easier. Either does Target or DSW 🙂

    LOVE “pull”

  5. baby steps dear, baby steps.

  6. you are simply hysterical!

  7. Shefa

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

  8. Joey Selesny

    Very cute. Costco needs to be planned out or you spend WAY too much. I got the Executive Membership because I save so much more on coupons and specials. I always go with a specific list (that Chaya writes for me) and stick to it. Good luck!

  9. doniel

    Devorah, every store has a purpose, and I have become the master (sad, but true). Costco is for: batteries, cleaning supplies (esp swiffer), ziplock bags, garbage bags, generic drugs are huge there, cooking tins, ppaper towels . Food is very specific, maybe grapejuice and a few other things depending on the Costco, but target works better (esp if it’s a grocery target). W Costco, you have to go in w a plan otherwise you get overwhelmed, esp because the aisles aren’t labeled and the staff are invisible. Basically, ignore the food other than the kosher section (in Cleve?) esp the lox.

    • So I am starting to learn. I know that there is some sort of bigger plan out there connected the Costcos, BJs, Sam Clubs and Targets of the world. I am at a loss (but I had heard about the lox!).

  10. tovit

    pull – Avi did that in the Young Israel of Brookline during Chazarat Hashatz the day of Aylit’s baby naming. Memories…….

    Costco – great for zip locks, paper towel, kleenex, toilet paper, fruits, vegetables, pi’s and winter gloves and children books sets.

  11. Yafit

    Love that Eitan Katz…It is just too much.
    Also Im a pro at Costco. Ill could call you and walk you through it. Maybe you dont need 1000 granola bars but you def need that many Diet Cokes/Frescas. Also, I do well there with milk, eggs, vegis, diapers/wipes, toiletries (including kids advil/tylenol)…
    Oh and when do we get to play?!!?!

    • I would like to play now. Escape your hurricane and come over!!!!

      • Yafit

        I should! All of our programming for tonight got cancelled. Uch…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: